Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Toxic Guilt

Today an emailed popped in my inbox containing this article from Spark People. I started subscribing to Spark People right around the new year (you can find some awesome healthy recipes and healthy living articles among many other things). It was also when I made the firm decision to begin my wedding weight loss battle journey. All of my wedding to-do checklists suggested beginning your "fitness" routine with about 6-8 months to go. And since I do not think there is EVER an easy time to begin to lose weight, the start of the new year sounded just as good as any other time (especially after I indulged in a few too many Christmas cookies and spirits). So here I am, 4 months later, having (proudly) lost a few pounds, but knowing I still have a few pounds to go. My hair and make-up trial is next week so I plan on trying my dress on then and seeing how it fits! We shall see how it goes :)

Anyway! Back to the article. The article talks about guilt. Toxic guilt to be exact. And as I hopped on the treadmill this morning, I was definitely remembering that delicious flourless chocolate dessert I enjoyed last night. I felt so guilty (But it was soooo good!) So when I read that Spark People article I could relate.

I hate feeling guilty. Though I swear I have some sort of guilt complex. I know (and have been told) that I feel guilty about things that no one else worries about and things that do not deserve a second thought, but I cannot help it. I admit that I am not perfect :) I am a work in progress.

Food and I have a love/hate relationship. I love eating it, but hate what it does to my waistline! Lately, food has definitely been at the top of my list of things about which I feel way too guilty. From now on, I am going to make a serious effort to limit the toxic guilt I feel about eating. Am I going to keep trying to lose weight? Yes, of course (I want my dress to fit like a glove!) And does that involve making sacrifices? Absolutely. But I need to work on not being so hard on myself. I still have 3 months to go! I can't get burnt out! Slow and steady wins the race :) If I deprive myself of all of things I love to eat and drink all of the time, I will never make it!

Looking back, I am so grateful that I started losing when I did so that it was healthy, gradual loss. I have good weeks and bad weeks. But my goal is to keep the drastic measures to a minimum. Which means making conscious decisions about what I eat (and not feeling guilty aftward), keeping up with a regular work out routine and remembering that it is okay to splurge and treat myself every once and a while! But not to get crazy! :) I refuse to let the toxic guilt from inhibiting my weight loss success!

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